The more that content shifts from channels and networks to the internet, the more we have to consider the effects and consequences of this change. Take commercials. No, seriously – take commercials. No one watches them anymore. Whether it’s DVR, Netflix or iTunes, consumers are increasingly finding ways to avoid ads on television.

Networks might not mind losing out on ad revenue if they’re gaining the money back through online subscription models. But the marketers aren’t going down without a fight. No one loves watching ads, but a good many of us work for a company that needs advertising and new business in order to stay in business. (If you work for Apple, you have about five seconds to gloat, beginning now). So if consumers are finding ways to avoid ads, it seems like product placement within content is a perfect (and maybe even more effective) way to generate revenue with in the new wave of television.

The Problem with Product Placement – It’s a Little Too Krafty

If you’ve watched The CW lately, you may have noticed that the characters in Gossip Girl and Vampire Diaries don’t Google anything. Ever. Even Blair Waldorf, the weathiest of Gossip Girl Upper East siders (yes, I’ve been known to sneak an episode or two) owns a PC and Bings her search queries. It’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever seen.

See the CW logo in the bottom right? Could a take be any more obvious? Ugh. And then when the characters say lines like “Oh I found a great perogie place on Bing.” Oh it’s cringe worthy. Takes you right out of the story.

If product placement is destined to be a fixture in our favorite characters’ kitchens from now on, they’ve got to start learning to do it right.

How to do Product Placement Right

The Quality Logo Products blog has three great examples of product placement done well, and then not-so-well. The “Ugly” video was the worst, with the mother’s character breaking into her “commercial voiceover” mode to convince the audience her daughter to try a new facial cleanser. It was so awkward. No one talks like that! But that doesn’t mean that no one talks about products.

The thing is, people in “real life” namedrop products ALL THE TIME. It’s natural.

“Did you grab my Droid?”

“Let’s get some Papa John’s!”

“OMG – All of us are on the Neuva Ring!” (Yes, real girls talk about their birth control too.)

“I’m getting a Stella – what do you want?”

What advertisers need to learn is that demanding a full-on explanation of the benefits of your product sounds completely out of place in a TV show. We expect commercials to sound salesy and fake, but we want our TV and film characters to seem like they could actually exist. Just a namedrop is ok. I’m the internet generation – if I want to learn more, I can, and will go to your website/blog/facebook/twitter to learn about your product. This is the era in which TV and online work together! Tell your fans and followers to watch out for your product on Thursday’s episode of the new hit show. But for the sake of all things holy, leave the friggin storyline alone.

He is the IPO Hippo. Ask him anything.

This is that post. The one with the tangible ideas. I’m still against a “war.” Silicon Valley and Hollywood need to work together, and they need to learn some important lessons from each other.

What Hollywood Can Learn From The Startup Community – A “Paying Your Dues” Culture Will Kill Your Industry

One of the biggest differences I notice* between the work environment in Northern California versus SoCal is that in Hollywood, fresh-out-of-college 22 year-olds start at the bottom (and I mean the “bring-me-my-extra-hot-vanilla-latte-kid” kind of bottom). The younger workers are expected to pay their dues over time until they gradually rise to a position of authority. Obviously there are exceptions to this rule, and I’m sure knowing someone helps (a lot), but, generally speaking, that’s how it goes.

And that’s part of the reason Hollywood can’t keep up with the internet age. Years of experience is helpful in many business situations, but so is having idea makers who are in touch with your biggest generation of consumers since the Baby Boomers. Hollywood is letting one of their biggest assets – the thousands of young people who would do just about anything to work in that industry, many of whom have killer ideas to boot – slave away on monotonous, data-entry type jobs for the sake of tradition.

One of the most promising aspects of the tech industry is that age really doesn’t matter. If you’ve got a good idea and the means to execute it, it doesn’t matter if you’re 22 or 52, you’ll get the chance to prove yourself, without jumping through years of dues-paying hoops. If Hollywood had paid more attention to the ideas and habits of young people, they may have been able to salvage some of their industry from piracy before resorting to tactics like SOPA.

What The Startup Community Can Learn From Hollywood – Invest in More Than Just Tech

We need to learn from the success of Kickstarter. Creatives need money too. Hollywood gets this idea – they spend millions on writers, artists, and other creative types. The internet startup community has “startup weekends” and incubators galore, but we don’t have large-scale funding opportunities for creators of art and entertainment, be it filmmakers, TV show writers (or whatever the future of the serial story will be, probably not TV for much longer…), authors, etc.. Why are we stopping the innovation at tech? The internet has clearly caused a revolution in the entertainment industry, but the internet community hasn’t caught up to it yet.

Just as with tech startups, small groups of creative people should be able to come together for a weekend or a few months, or however long the period is, put together a rough semblance of a “product” and pitch to investors. Some will get money to continue, and some won’t, just like with tech startups. The point is – this will help solve the problem of the ridiculous corporate blockade that prevents a lot of innovation from entering the entertainment business to begin with.

Once they have a product, these entertainment startups can use the internet to their advantage. I was so excited to hear the announcement today that the anticipated additional season of Arrested Development will air on Netflix, and not just because I’m a huge fan of the chicken dance. This is exactly the direction entertainment should be headed in – whether it’s via subscription or pay-per-view, or other revenue generation models that we haven’t even thought of yet. Instead of needing the support of behemoth networks and channels, entertainment startups can broadcast online.

Obviously I’m not suggesting that everyone in the tech world move over to the creative side. In fact, that’s another reason why I disagreed with Paul Graham’s call for tech startups to destroy Hollywood. You don’t ask programmers to fix entertainment, just like you would never ask a screenwriter to make a site in Rails. These two industries ask for different kinds of talent and expertise. But I think the internet community as a whole needs to embrace a “startup” as more than just a handful of programmers pushing out a website.

Entertainment is not going to die. People aren’t going to stop watching movies or serial shows anytime soon – they’re just going to change how they consume these products. If we want Hollywood to change with the times, I think we need to start by seeing the future of the entertainment industry as a startup boom waiting to happen.

________________________________________________________

*I don’t work in the entertainment industry, but I do have many good friends who do.

In the Bay Area, showing support for SOPA, well … you just don’t. You’d have an easier time defending North Korea in a human rights debate. SOPA would kill innovation! It would restrict the freedom of speech! It could take down Reddit and YouTube and even Wikipedia. When I first learned about the bill, I was sure statements like these were mostly sensationalism. I mean, this is the United States. We don’t just take down websites! But I looked into the issue a couple months back, and most of those seemingly sensationalistic assertions are true.

But.

Yes, in my mind, there’s still a but.

What really shocked me during the whole SOPA debate, and the ensuing “War on Hollywood” that’s buzzing around the Bay, is that Silicon Valley entrepreneurs and techies and journalists alike spent so much time decrying Hollywood’s greed and no one bothered to look at the proverbial log in our own eye. Millions of people, including members of the tech and startup community have been stealing movies and music and TV shows for years now. In talking to programmer friends, we’ve agreed that many members of our circle are habitual downloaders of pirated content. I’m not saying that everyone in Silicon Valley steals their Showtime serial of choice instead of purchasing it, but it happens enough. Considering the millions of computer literate consumers involved with the startup community, I would guess that on our own, we’ve deprived Hollywood of tens, if not hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue.

And no one in Northern California addressed this issue, or led a charge to start paying for content.

You could assert that not paying $25 for a season of Weeds is a whole different ballgame than taking down a website with hundreds of millions of users. But is it? It’s taking advantage of the power you have to produce an outcome that benefits yourself, and that hurts another. It’s greed. The entertainment industry is made up of men and women who work just as hard, and who are just as creative and intelligent as members of the startup community. It’s not just a bunch of old white men in suits as they’ve been portrayed. That would be like portraying the startup community with a picture of 25 venture capitalists. Hollywood is made up of writers and designers and editors and sound people and even computer programmers. And these people are losing millions of dollars in their hard-earned money due to piracy.

Paul Graham recently argued that SOPA and PIPA made it obvious that “Hollywood is dying.” Why else, he asked, would they resort to tactics such as these? I have a lot of respect for Graham (if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have my job!), but in this case I have to disagree. Hollywood is not dying. Even in Silicon Valley, I don’t know many folks who don’t have a TV series they’re stuck at the moment or who don’t curl up on the couch to a good movie on some weekend nights. We’re still watching TV and movies just as much, if not more than we used to – it’s just that many of us aren’t paying for them. If Hollywood is dying, it’s not because of lack of demand, it’s because of theft.

I agree that Hollywood needs to innovate. No one watches TV on TV anymore. In 20 years, TV channels and commercials probably won’t exist as we currently know them, except for events like football games or the evening news, things that pretty much have to be live. Licensing content to iTunes and Netflix is a step in the right direction. Hollywood needs to create more ways for people to consume content on demand. But instead of declaring war, instead of going to battle, I don’t see why Silicon Valley can’t be the “bigger person” in this argument. Don’t destroy Hollywood with your products while you steal and enjoy it in the comfort of your own home. Let’s stop being greedy and work together.

I highly recommend this blog post to any girl with a more-than-moderate fascination with the written word. It will make you feel very good about yourself.  I’m not sure it will do much for people who want to date girls. If they’re the kind of lover who’s meant for a reader, I’m sure they already appreciate literary women. And if they’re not, it’s not going to convince them otherwise.

Even though the “Girl You Should Date” post was much more directed toward girl readers than toward the men and women who love them, it got me thinking about my own dating experience – what I’ve learned from my relationships about the guys you should and should not date. Failed relationships, I’m learning, are often relationships that either shouldn’t have started at all or that shouldn’t have continued past a fun-filled month or two.

So based on my own limited personal experience, I’m starting a new category of blog post. Let’s call it:

This episode is titled Someone a Girl Should Date.

- Date someone who clearly, clearly respects you. If you’re not sure whether or not they respect you, be wary.

- Date someone who makes you laugh. Every day.

- Date a someone who’s willing to learn how to adapt to you. No matter how similar you are, there will always be differences to overcome.

(Example: I’ve never met a man who was born knowing how to make a woman feel better when she’s down. I’m sure they’re out there, just like I’m sure there’s a straight guy out there who eschews both sports and video games. But most men, when faced with with the doom and gloom of a moody maiden, naturally go all deer-in-the-headlights. “Ahh! Ew! Girly emotions! Does not compute!” That’s okay, as long as he’s willing to take some advice.

When I say “I’m having a bad day because of [insert scenario here],” you say “I totally understand why you’d feel that way. It’ll be better tomorrow. Let me pour you a glass of wine.” Stuff like that. Learning.)

- Date someone who wants you, but who doesn’t need you. Needing is sweet in romance novels, but in real life, people should be able to stand on their own two feet.

- Date someone who doesn’t expect to be needed by you.

- Date someone who challenges you, in a kind and respectful way, to be a better version of yourself.

- Date someone who doesn’t threaten you with break-ups, for whatever reason.

- Date someone who’s patient with you. You have flaws; everyone does. Date someone who’s not afraid to kindly point them out, but who’s also understanding of your humanity.

- Read over this list again. Replace every “Date someone” with “Be someone,” and replace every “you” with “your partner.” Date someone you’re willing to be that person for.

- And do try to date someone who appreciates reading. Readers are magical people.

I only know this because I bought a car over the weekend and have replaced my “Words With Friends” filled BART rides with NPR and the highway. And this “primary” was basically all they talked about on NPR today.

So there are a bunch of guys (and one woman) who have spent the last few weeks and a few million dollars to earn Iowans’ love and affection in. If you’re a registered Republican in one of the other 49 states, you might want to venture on over to Wikipedia or something a bit more legit than my blog. If you’re not a registered Republican, you don’t have any real decision making to do until November 6th anyways, so you might as well rely on my super awesome Dictionary of the Republican Primary for all your Republican Primary facts.

Ahem.

Megan’s Dictionary of the Republican Primary Season

Mitt Romney (currently unemployed, former Governor of MA) – Mitt is the front runner in this primary race. Republicans see him as moderate enough to actually beat Obama, mostly because of the fact that he’s flip flopped on every issue in the book. Since no one knows what Romney really thinks about, like, anything, no one really hates the guy. Basically, if you despise Obama so much that you’d rather have Raggedy Ann in office, this is the candidate you want to hope for.

MITT! Get it?

Rick Santorum (Senator from PA) – Rick is the champion among the conservative evangelical Christians (hey Dad!). If you’re pro-life and anti-welfare, you’re probably a fan of Rick. He seems to be doing well in the Iowa caucus, but he also made time to kiss babies in every county in the state (unlike most states, Iowa has a “caucus” [not to be confused with Caucas] instead of a primary even though it’s basically the same thing). Unless Rick can visit every county in the United States before November, most NPR analysts don’t see much in the future of his campaign.

Rick ALSO wears mittens!

Newt Gingrich (currently unemployed, former Representative from Georgia) – He used to be a pretty key player in the Republican party. I know this because I grew up in a Republican household (see paragraph above), and he’s the only candidate whose name rings a bell. He used to be the Speaker of the House or something, but he had to step down because everyone got mad at him about the whole “impeaching Clinton” thing. Newt was still a pretty big front runner in Iowa before some of Mitt’s Super PACS spent millions of dollars on commercials to bash him.

It came this way on the internet. I DID NOT draw these hearts. Creepy.

Super PACS – Candidates are always trying to restrict where other candidates are getting money from. Some huge debate along these lines occurred in July of 2010, and then there was a Supreme Court Ruling, and as a result, it’s now legal for groups of organizations, companies, rando people, whatever, to band together in a Super PAC and spend as much money as they want on ads for the candidate of their choosing. (Individuals can only donate up to 30K directly to a campaign, so this allows super rich folks to spend a lot more for the guy or gal they want.)

The crazy part is – Super PACS don’t have to coordinate or seek approval of the candidate to run their ads, and therefore, they can run crazy smear campaigns on opposing candidates without having their candidate look like an asshole. He can be all like “What? I have no idea who is making these crazy ads that are bashing my opponent! I don’t KNOW how they got the psd of my logo!”

Super Sneaky!

Ron Paul (Representative from Texas) – My libertarian friends love Ron Paul.  Like – they want to marry him and have his little outspoken babies. He’s the only primary candidate who’s got much clout with the “Gen-Y” audience, which is funny considering that he’s the oldest candidate and the fact that he’s not as socially liberal as many other libertarians. His supporters like that he speaks honestly and adamantly (and unlike Mitt, he seems not to have flip-flopped very much). If you’re not much of a fan of Democrats or Republicans, and aren’t afraid of supporting a polarizing candidate, Ron might be the guy for you.

Also, it’s a running joke with Ron Paul fans that he’s been a bit ignored by the media. Put last stories and such. I’m not so sure about that one.

The ONLY candidate with positive memes. I'm telling you - the Gen Y libertarians LOVE THIS GUY.

Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, Jon Huntsman - That candidates who have about the same chance of winning as my cat.

Tampa, Florida – This is the hot-spot (literally and otherwise) every Republican who’s anyone in the Republican party will travel to this August for the “official”nomination of the 2012 Republican Presidential Candidate. There are supposed to be all these technical goings-on, kind of like the Electoral College where different representatives from different states nominate their candidate and this and that, but everybody really knows who the candidate is long before the primary. So it’s basically like the Republican Pep Rally. After more than a year of bashing, all the loser candidates will crowd around the winner and shake their fists in support and say nice things to the press with teethy smiles.

The really suck part is, Burning Man 2012 happens at about the same time. How do you decide??

You may think it’s a nice new twist on the old, Irish “Margaret.” Maybe you like the letter “M,” or the fact that is has a solid “G” in the middle, for some extra force. Those things don’t matter. Speaking as a Megan who has met more than her fair share of girls with the same name…it’s just not worth it.

There are about 12,987 reasons you should not name your daughter “Megan.” Here are 3.

1) First of all, we spell “Nagem” backwards. And without the G, we become “Mean.” Would you name your child Fugck? Or Nagsty? Or Smeglly? This does not bode well for the personality of a growing girl.

2) And then there’s just the fact that there are too damn many of us.

If you don’t think Megan’s get territorial about our names, travel back in time to Northridge Middle School, circa 1999.

There were two other Megan’s in the 6th grade. One was more popular than me, and she was loud with freckles. The other was quiet and even taller than I was. She also played some sort of musical instrument. Between the two of them, the popular crowd and all of the band and orchestra kids already had their own Megan’s. I couldn’t even be known as the tall Megan.

I’ve been on more than one date with around 8 guys in my life. (Don’t judge – boys used to scare me). Three of them, including two that became long-term boyfriends, had already seriously dated a “Megan.” The third actually refused to seriously date me because a “Megan” had just broken his heart. This is the stuff of complexes, people!

3) We’re not known for our smarts.

Other Megan’s, don’t get mad – I’m not talking about all of us. This is generally speaking.

Example – who’s the most famous Megan in America?

Just for kicks, Google “author Megan.” The top result wrote this book:

rly?

Did you know that there are no senators named Megan? No members of Congress named Megan? There are not even any governors named Megan. I found one Mayor Megan. She reigns over a village of 3500. (See? I did say not all).

I even did a LinkedIn search for the keyword “megan” and the title of “CEO.” This was my results page:

Apparently when LinkedIn runs out of Megan's, Peter's and Stacey's fill in just fine.

If you really must name your daughter Megan, please make sure she does something amazing with her life. The name needs some legit cred.

And there is Los Angeles.

I live in SF, but I’ve taken a few trips to LA in the past months. I’ve met the locals. Flirted with the natives. I’ve consumed their wine. I feel almost qualified to talk about it. So here goes.

San Francisco is energy. It’s liberating. It’s fresh air, and crisp air and foggy air and air that’s never warm enough, which is perfect if you run. I wore my winter coat all through August and pulled it back out in November. San Francisco demanded it. San Francisco is hills surrounded by water, covered with seven mile stretches of overpriced homes. She’s a proud city. She will strain your legs and your heart walking up a hill, in the cold and dark and mist just to go to the Whole Foods, but then you’ll turn around at the crest, and her beauty will make you forget all else.

Los Angeles is energy too. He’s internal energy. He’s go. He’s motivation. He’s telling you that you will be crushed if you don’t devote your life to him, and even if you do, you’ll probably be crushed anyway. Los Angeles wants all of you. He’ll encompass you and suck you in and you’ll no longer understand “normal.” Los Angeles is smog and cars, and he’s wedged between hills that he’ll never let you climb. He’s an aspiring city. He’s this today, but he’ll be that tomorrow. Bending and shifting and essaying to mirror an existence that isn’t real.

San Francisco doesn’t care who’s behind her in line and whether or not she’s wearing pajama pants out and about on a Tuesday.

Los Angeles cares. And he will look at you. And he will spend a few seconds wondering if you’re important. And then he will see your pajama pants.

San Francisco says hi I work for this startup you’ve never heard of doing something you thought another startup already did, but it’s okay because I got investors because I’m kinda different because of this tiny insignificant detail and the fact that the UI is much more user friendly. You can read all about it on TechCrunch.

Los Angeles says hi I work for Starbucks making shit money, and I am using all of my creative energy to write this script that you’ve never heard of and you never will hear of because no one will make it, and no one will make my next creation either, or the next one, or the next one, but that’s the biz for you and have you seen the trailer for …?

San Francisco smokes.

Los Angeles snorts.

San Francisco says relax – the world is a beautiful place.

Los Angeles says the world is fucked and you’d better change it.

Where do you want to live?

Starbucks had its “12 Days of Sharing”

Modcloth had its “12 Days in Giftland”

Yelp did “12 Days of Yelpmas” in my last email newsletter

And this kitten-themed site not only enjoyed the obvious pun (“CATmas!”) but also delights us with “snow-falling” javascript and background music. You were warned about the background music.

Marketers love to talk about Christmas. Just like we love to bring up Valentine’s Day and Presidents’ Day and Memorial Day and the 4th of July and the Summer Olympics and Back-to-School and Spring Break!! and any other reason we can use to remind you how our product fits into your daily life.

Marketers also hate January, especially now that “The Big Game” is in Feb (we’re not allowed to say “Superbowl“). I don’t really mind it during all those other times of year. Writing a blog post about Mother’s Day sales is the perfect way to remember to buy something for my own mom.

But like…I’m not going to forget about Christmas.

And now that I’m on the other end of the sales coin (that’s an expression, right?), I spend my holidays thinking up Christmas tweets and blog posts and campaigns and then it dawns on me that I’m actually using Christmas for personal and job-related gain.

(DID YOU HEAR ME? I’M USING CHRISTMAS!!).

And it’s not just me – it’s all of us marketers. Those Coolwhip commercials I used to adore (remember? the dog had reindeer antlers!), the chimney flavored latte at my local coffee chain, seasonal discounts, candy-cane-covered socks they sell at Target, ABC holiday specials, even the funky Google easter eggs – they no longer glow with the magic of selfless holiday cheer.  Those companies all have Megans too, planning and developing events and products to coincide with the emotional high of the holidays.

Sneaky, sneaky marketers. It’s a shocker no one is on to us yet.

So this friend is known for being a bit on the sensationalistic side. But new acronyms (as well as alliteration) always attract my attention.

I didn’t look into SOPA that moment. Probably because it was morning, and I was drinking coffee and waiting for the BART and I really didn’t want to be confronted with another “it’s-the-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it” story even before my morning banana.

Since then, I’ve managed to learn a little bit more about this Stop Online Piracy Act. I’m sure you have too. I’m not going insult your internet intelligence by succumbing my English major nature who just has to give an exposition. She would probably explain that SOPA is a congressional bill that would turn the streaming of copyrighted content into a felony.

Nor will I add that the Department of Justice could prevent advertisers from working with these crime-committing sites. It could order search engines not to link to them, and it could even ask internet service providers (like Comcast) to block access to these sites.

But if I were going to explain the basic tenets of SOPA (which I just found on Wikipedia), that’s probably what I would say.

Damn. It’s probably a good thing I used the Google. I didn’t even know that much about SOPA. After all the hype, I was actually really hoping for some redeeming factor. I actually sort of wanted to like SOPA, mostly because I feel weird about jumping on bandwagons. But also because I feel like there is a lot of sensationalism out there, and things can’t really be so bad actual basic freedoms are at risk of being taken away. I mean, dude, this is America.

To be fair, based on my research it doesn’t seem as if the bare bones act of SOPA itself would hurt the average Joe the plumber. Al the hipster might be hurting, because he’ll suddenly have a much harder time downloading It’s Always Sunny illegally, but hey, Danny Devito works hard for his job, as do  Glenn Howerton and Fred Savage, and there really is no logical compelling argument to justify illegal downloading. Sorry.

But the scary part of SOPA lays more in the implications.

I can think of two main ones:

1) The creative spirit brought on by the internet (and especially “Web 2.0″) could be threatened.

That sounds all fluffy and junk, but it’s really not. Like that giant picture I posted about 2 sentences up – technically that is copyrighted material. I guess it belongs to George Lucas or something. But it’s been altered and adopted into popular culture (mostly thanks to Reddit), and the act of posting that material doesn’t actually cause Lucas or Harrison Ford or Carrie Fisher to lose any revenue. It’s just for fun – it’s part of the community of the internet. It’s not streaming, so I guess it’s not going to be a felony under SOPA? But what about this Christmas song I just can’t get out of my head?

SOPA (as far as I can read), doesn’t differentiate between the two types of copyright violation. Sites like Reddit or YouTube could actually be shut down, and similar sites may not receive investment money in the first place, because their content might include copyright violations, and that would now be a felony.

2) In a very extreme distopian future, SOPA could be used to justify infringement upon free speech.

This is the part that strikes me as a bit more sensationalistic. But if we’ve learned anything these past few years, it seems that we can’t quite trust the government.

This argument basically says that giving the government power of any sort over an area that is supposed to house freedom of expression can open a Pandora’s box to censorship of all sorts. Maybe not tomorrow, but in ten years, fifteen years, other bills could be introduced on top of SOPA that continue to restrict the rights of Americans on the internet.

In addition, the use of proxy servers (basically ways to hide where your website content is actually coming from) could be restricted because many of them are used to distribute copyrighted material. However, revolutionaries during the Arab Spring also used proxy servers to send messages, circumventing oppressive governments. Is restricting free speech worth protecting copyrights?

Maybe it’s because I don’t own a record company, and I haven’t written that movie yet, but to me the answer is clearly “no.”

In conclusion, stealing copyrighted material is wrong. Tons of my friends do it. I’ve done it (though I mostly use Spotify and iTunes these days), but there really is no excuse for preventing artists from receiving compensation for their work. But SOPA… ugh. It just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.