I read a piece this morning called “A Girl You Should Date.” It’s about readers. Girl readers. And why anyone would be over-the-moon lucky to land themselves a lady who prefers her books to her looks, who’d rather chat about American Gods than American Idol and who, at times, might even prefer E.E. to cummings of a different sort. Sometimes. Maybe.
I highly recommend this blog post to any girl with a more-than-moderate fascination with the written word. It will make you feel very good about yourself. I’m not sure it will do much for people who want to date girls. If they’re the kind of lover who’s meant for a reader, I’m sure they already appreciate literary women. And if they’re not, it’s not going to convince them otherwise.
Even though the “Girl You Should Date” post was much more directed toward girl readers than toward the men and women who love them, it got me thinking about my own dating experience – what I’ve learned from my relationships about the guys you should and should not date. Failed relationships, I’m learning, are often relationships that either shouldn’t have started at all or that shouldn’t have continued past a fun-filled month or two.
So based on my own limited personal experience, I’m starting a new category of blog post. Let’s call it:
This episode is titled Someone a Girl Should Date.
- Date someone who clearly, clearly respects you. If you’re not sure whether or not they respect you, be wary.
- Date someone who makes you laugh. Every day.
- Date a someone who’s willing to learn how to adapt to you. No matter how similar you are, there will always be differences to overcome.
(Example: I’ve never met a man who was born knowing how to make a woman feel better when she’s down. I’m sure they’re out there, just like I’m sure there’s a straight guy out there who eschews both sports and video games. But most men, when faced with with the doom and gloom of a moody maiden, naturally go all deer-in-the-headlights. “Ahh! Ew! Girly emotions! Does not compute!” That’s okay, as long as he’s willing to take some advice.
When I say “I’m having a bad day because of [insert scenario here],” you say “I totally understand why you’d feel that way. It’ll be better tomorrow. Let me pour you a glass of wine.” Stuff like that. Learning.)
- Date someone who wants you, but who doesn’t need you. Needing is sweet in romance novels, but in real life, people should be able to stand on their own two feet.
- Date someone who doesn’t expect to be needed by you.
- Date someone who challenges you, in a kind and respectful way, to be a better version of yourself.
- Date someone who doesn’t threaten you with break-ups, for whatever reason.
- Date someone who’s patient with you. You have flaws; everyone does. Date someone who’s not afraid to kindly point them out, but who’s also understanding of your humanity.
- Read over this list again. Replace every “Date someone” with “Be someone,” and replace every “you” with “your partner.” Date someone you’re willing to be that person for.
- And do try to date someone who appreciates reading. Readers are magical people.
Great advice